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LOU BOLDT


BY RIDLEY PEARSON

Boldt: First, for the record, I want to say emphatically that I’ve not committed any crime. I’ve agreed to talk without counsel. Anyone who knows any detective knows he would never speak without an attorney present, not to his own mother if she were accusing him of eating an extra piece of pie. But your accusation is a bit more serious than that, isn’t it? And for the record: my mother is dead. So’s my father. I have a sister, lives in central Washington. That’s what’s left of that part of my life. But anyway, I’m innocent of the charges.

Define your relationship with Captain Philip Shoswitz, as well as with Detective John LaMoia.

Boldt: Define it? Have you got a few hours?

We have all the time you need, Lieutenant.

Boldt: First, can I make some observations, Sergeant Feldman? You and Dr. Hainer. I’m guessing you’re what, Sergeant? Forty-two? Dr. Hainer’s thirty-five, thirty-six? I imagine you slogged your way through beer and coeds and managed a bachelor’s degree in pub crawling. Same as any red-blooded kid. Dr. Hainer didn’t fare so well. He never left the bottle behind.

Let’s keep this to the investigation, shall we?

Boldt: If you don’t mind, it’s important to the people reviewing this interview that they understand the mind-set of those doing the interview. Very important to me. I’m trained in detection, Sergeant, same as you. And it’s important that we know each other. Dr. Hainer looks like a man born for graduate school. Probably lived off the parents’ checkbook for as long as possible. Maybe a few years too many. See his clothes? He’s worn that jacket a long time. There are stitch marks where he removed an emblem-a college or fraternity emblem, I’m guessing. The bloodshot eyes tell me the good doctor had a very late night last night, or was into something more destructive. The jaundice in those eyes suggests coke or alcohol. The gut he’s wearing tells me it’s booze. Coke would have left him a rail. And if I’m right, this destructive tendency is the result of marital problems. Note the tan line suggesting a missing wedding band. That’s recent, so I’m pretty sure it explains the pain behind the jaundice. I’ve been there, you see.

She left you, am I right? Possibly in part because you’re cheap. You haven’t bought yourself a new pair of shoes in what-two years? Same with the shirt. We’ve already discussed the coat. So I’m sorry for whatever you’re going through, Dr. Hainer, but I’m wondering if you’re fully qualified to judge my state of mind when your own is in question.

[Dr. Hainer excuses himself and leaves the room]

Feldman: That was hardly necessary.

Boldt: Unless you’re sitting where I am. Dr. Hainer’s report is going to play significantly in the review of this interview. His state of mind is critical to that review. I question his ability to assess me fairly. That’s all. I mean no disrespect.

For the sake of the tape, Dr. Hainer has left the room at… 10:37 a.m. Subject remains.

Boldt: For the sake of the tape: he looked a little queasy.

He has a personal matter to attend to. He’ll be back shortly.

Boldt: He’s going to have a smoke and recompose himself. He smokes menthols. Did you smell it? Half a pack a day, I think. And he has a problem with athlete’s foot-uses that spray stuff. It’s my nose. [subject points to nose] Best old-factory around. [subject laughs]

Let’s start with your relationship with Captain Shoswitz.

Boldt: My relationship? You make it sound as if we shower together. If you want to understand my closeness to Captain Shoswitz, then you have to understand my attraction to the job. It started with my father. He was a drunk. Your friend Dr. Hainer, who just beat a hasty retreat, he may find this useful. I’m laboring under some kind of daddy complex, which explains so much about me. We need him. Bring him back.

Your sarcasm is noted, Lieutenant Boldt, though I’m not sure it helps your case any.

Boldt: My case? That’s rich. My father had some brushes with the law. By “the law” I mean my uncle Victor. They called him Lightning. Lightning Boldt-get it? He was a blue, like you and me. Victor, I’m talking about. Not my father. He was a drunk. Plain and simple. The life of a drunk is plain and simple. Simple, and difficult, and tragic-which pretty much sums up dear old Dad. And by “brushes” I mean knock-down-drag-outs, where the two of them went at it like a pair of Irishmen. This typically followed my father getting into trouble, and my uncle Vic getting him out. Dad showed his thanks by offering his fists. Dad liked to hit. [subject makes a sucking noise between his teeth] Dad liked to hit whatever, whoever, was handy at the time. Ah-ha! Dr. Hainer returns. A glass of water to justify his absence. Yes, have a seat-we were just discussing my effed-up childhood and my relationship with my dad. Although he couldn’t relate to anything, so it’s a misnomer. Yes, by all means take a note. Write that down. It could prove incredibly important to my innocence.

You were going to tell us about you and Captain Shoswitz.

Boldt: It’s all connected. My uncle Vic started on the beat. Yesler Way and south into what used to be mostly the fish trade. Some rough characters.

No one’s questioning your uncle’s integrity.

Boldt: No, but you’re questioning my integrity. You’re accusing me of helping out the captain in a way that violates regs. Twenty-seven years, four months, and this is what it comes down to? You actually think I carried ten grand in cash and put it back into Property? Do you actually think LaMoia was involved as well? And you think I would do all this for Phil Shoswitz, which suggests he took that money out in the first place, which I don’t believe. The implication is that he did it because his son was into some bad real-estate deals. More incredible, you say you can prove all this. Has it occurred to any of you that this goes totally contrary to my career, to LaMoia’s, and to the lieutenant’s-the captain’s? Isn’t it far more likely I’ve been set up?

To what purpose?

Boldt: I have ideas but no proof. If you’d give me time to track some of this down… Instead you’ve got me in here with you two, and all we’re going to do is circle the drain.

You were going to tell us about your relationship with Captain Shoswitz.

Boldt: I was going to tell you that my uncle Vic moved on to form the first SWAT squad this department ever had. Worked with Jerry Fleming from the Bureau. Jerry had run the D. B. Cooper case. Remember that one: guy hijacks a plane and jumps from a jet with eighty grand? Jerry’s the real thing. His son, Walt, too. He’s the sheriff over in Sun Valley. And Uncle Vic and Jerry set up a response squad-special weapons and tactics. That’s when Vic got into the interesting work. Over the next few years, he and his squad saved sixteen lives. Hostages. Attempted suicides. You name it. And he might have left this department with his chin up and a chance at a private-sector job if some TV crew hadn’t scared a jumper off the I-5 bridge back in the ’80s and made it look like Vic had screwed the pooch. It wasn’t Vic that lost that guy-but the video made it look that way. And that was the end of Vic. That’s what you guys are. Do you see that? You’re the TV crew in my career. Twenty-seven years, and you’re going to make it look like I did this thing. And I did not.

Captain Shoswitz.

Boldt: Sergeant Shoswitz recruited me for a vice sting on the canal. A gaming room in an abandoned vessel. Maybe he took me for my size, maybe because he owed one to Uncle Vic. But I got the call. I was riding in Freemont mostly. Watching the grass grow between the cracks. Not a lot of work in Freemont. A stolen salmon maybe. A buoy snatching. Lowball stuff. And Shoswitz calls me onto a vice sting. I don’t think I slept the night before that. I was pretty wound up. Vice. That was the real stuff. This is the late ’70s. I was a young buck. The wharves and the canals were full of prosts and dealers. Coke and weed. Some H. AIDS hadn’t arrived yet. Vice was the place to be. When you love this job, you love it. I think my uncle Vic understood that about me: he knew I had something to prove. That I wasn’t my father. That I wasn’t going to go down a bottle and that I wanted to fix things instead of screw them up. That Crosby, Stills and Nash song. You ever hear that one: “Teach Your Children”? I’m a jazz guy myself, but that song pretty much sums up the first part of my life. The second part, once I was wearing that uniform, was going to be different, and the sergeant understood that about me.

So you owed him.

Boldt: I did. I do. Yes, absolutely. You know the way it is. Show me anyone who doesn’t owe somebody something. Nuns owe it all to God. For Lance Armstrong, it’s the bike. Gimme a break. It’s all connected. That’s what makes investigating-and some of us actually investigate crimes before throwing around charges-so much fun.

That connection between you and Captain Shoswitz… Why don’t you explain it to me?

Boldt: The thing about you guys in I.I. is you lose your trust. You lose your faith. You spend too much time investigating your fellow blue and you lose perspective.

Philip Shoswitz received a favorable bank loan from your wife. You want to tell us about that?

Boldt: Am I supposed to be impressed that you did your homework? Listen, it was a car loan. It was back in the Stone Age. He got the loan well before I ever met Liz. She and I tell people we met in college. We’ve told that so many times maybe even we believe it. But it’s not right. We met in a bank. Across a loan desk in a bank. Romantic, huh? The lieu had taken out a bank loan on a new car-some kind of Buick, I think. He told me about it. Incredible rate. An incentive thing, you know? Back when interest rates were obscene. But if you opened a checking and savings account then, they shaved a bunch of points off the car loan. It was this all-in-one thing. A promotional thing. Best deal in the city. So I went, and the loan officer… Well, you know: one of those stories. A year later we were hitched. I was never great with math. I don’t handle the money at the house, guys. So you implying I handled money here… that’s just plain wrong.

We’ve implied nothing.

Boldt: You’ve charged me. Excuse me. You’ve charged me with… let me get this straight… placing ten thousand dollars cash-in bills twenty dollars and less-back into the property room. Not stealing, but returning. Isn’t that right? So the charge is, what, not stealing?

You know what the charges are.

Boldt: Not really.

Your wife, Elizabeth. You may have met her in a bank, but it was her recruitment of you that led to your relationship. It’s that kind of fudging the line, Lieutenant, that ultimately will work against you.

Boldt: You have as long on the job as a guy like me, and you expect people to come after you. The reputation gets too big. The department doesn’t like any officer getting bigger than the badge. But listen, that hasn’t happened here. I’m well aware of my limitations and shortcomings. I have a lot yet to prove, cases to close. If you’re trying to pressure me off the force, this is a hell of a convoluted way of doing it.

Dr. Hainer: Your wife’s neighbor was having problems with her husband. Tell us about that. She asked you for some help with that.

Sergeant Feldman: You can’t take on that kind of employment while carrying the shield. It’s moonlighting. It’s not permitted.

Boldt: This was fifteen years ago.

You were off-shift. You put a man in the hospital with a broken collarbone and a dislocated elbow.

Boldt: The guy beat his wife on the bottom of her feet with a length of garden hose filled with bird shot. He performed acts-sexual acts-that she did not consent to. Repeatedly. He withheld food from her and drugged her against her will. It’s true he took a swing at me and I defended myself. It’s also true he got the short end of that stick and ended up in need of medical attention. How I got there that night… there is no record of that. What you’re citing is rumor and hearsay. Unsubstantiated nonsense.

It was that incident that brought you and your wife together.

Boldt: You see: it’s that legend thing again. Rumors. I never asked for that mantle. People who get that, they never ask for it. It just arrives one day. And believe me, it’s a damn uncomfortable thing, that kind of label. What good does it do anyone? I maintained an 80 percent clearance rate for the better part of eight years on homicide. That’s luck. Plain and simple. I’m not a super-cop. You’re ginning up stories that have little or no basis in fact. If you’re going to pretend to do your homework, check your sources. You gotta always check your sources: first rule. Besides, what business is it of yours what brought Liz and me together? How could that possibly have any bearing on-

[Interrupts] Because it solidified and defined the relationship between you and Captain Shoswitz.

Boldt: Not true! You are way off base. Stick to the facts. You’re not paying attention to the facts.

And the facts are?

Boldt: Okay. [subject looks between the two interviewers] You want this from my side? [subject clears his throat] You allege that ten thousand dollars went missing from Property, that the missing money was discovered in a random inventory. You neglect to figure into this-somehow-that the discovery was kept secret. Neither I nor anyone else below the chief, I assume, was made aware of the missing money. You then suggest that I somehow divined the money was missing, recovered the money, and returned it in order to protect Phil Shoswitz, who you claim stole it in the first place. Throughout all of this, you fail to give any credence to the idea that the initial inventory was inaccurate, that someone made a mistake on the front end of this thing, and that all of this is just a horrible accounting error.

That’s what you’d like us to believe.

Boldt: I’m telling you my impression of the events.

Shoswitz moved you along with him at each and every promotion. That suggests more than just a bond of friendship or camaraderie.

Boldt: Do not go there.

It suggests a tie between the two of you. A debt. A street debt. Something that creates the kind of bond we all know happens on this job. Happens more frequently than is acknowledged. You moved from Vice to felony investigation, Major Crimes, and Homicide. Each time Shoswitz moved, you followed six months later.

Boldt: Maybe he valued my abilities.

Dr. Hainer: You did the same for the career path of Barbara Gaines.

Boldt: Is that what this is about? Payback for me bringing the first woman onto Homicide? Aren’t we beyond that?

Dr. Hainer: Did you or do you have a sexual relationship with Barbara Gaines?

Boldt: I did not. That would be fraternizing. And just for the record, Dr. Hainer, you are precariously close to losing your front teeth and most of your face as you know it.

Sergeant Feldman: For the sake of the record, let it show that Lieutenant Boldt’s threatening remark was aimed at Dr. Hainer.

Boldt: We’re on video, Sergeant. I think they can see where I’m looking. And yeah, it’s at Dr. Hainer. For the record, I have never had anything but a fully professional and platonic relationship with Detective Gaines, not that it pertains to this case in any way.

Sergeant Feldman: But it does. Gaines is part of this investigation. [pause] So shocked? Didn’t you know? You, LaMoia, Gaines, and Matthews. You’re all to be questioned.

Boldt: [subject is restless in the chair] You’re after my entire squad? My lead unit? What kind of a witch hunt is this?

Each person on your lead squad holds some kind of debt to you. The way you do to Shoswitz, or Shoswitz to you-we don’t know which. This department doesn’t run that way anymore. You’re old-school, Lieutenant. It may give you a hell of a clearance rate, but it has complicated this investigation.

Boldt: The only thing complicating this investigation is the limited scope of the person running it. Face it: you want me out. Now you have the chance to use someone’s incompetence to try to take me to the mat. Why don’t you just say it? But let me tell you something. I’m not going. I’m not done. And I’m sure as hell not leaving the job like this. You picked the wrong way to go after me, Feldman. Why isn’t it mentioned anywhere that each time I was promoted, you were up for the same promotions? Where’s that in all your paperwork? Why don’t we stick to the evidence, the way police work is supposed to be handled?

While we’re on the topic of professional conduct, why don’t you tell me about how Daphne Matthews fits into this?

Boldt: Ms. Matthews is a civilian. She serves in a professional capacity as an employee, a consultant to the department. By “fits into this,” do you mean homicide investigations? I think even you should be able to understand how the services of a criminal psychologist might be of use to a homicide investigation.

You brought her into the department.

Boldt: Exaggeration.

As I understand it, she approached you for an interview.

Boldt: Okay, now I’m impressed. There aren’t many who know that. Well done, Sergeant.

About your uncle Vic’s jumper, wasn’t it?

Boldt: I’ve been on the job for twenty-seven years. I’d like to think I’ve touched a lot of lives, hopefully in a good way. You can throw Matthews into that, I suppose.

You allowed the interview. You don’t often allow interviews, do you, Lieutenant? In your twenty-seven years of service, how many interviews-press or otherwise-have you agreed to?

Boldt: She was interested in the psychology of the case. Both sides. That impressed me. She was a graduate student at the time. When she was degreed, I consulted her on a case. Her insight proved valuable. Six months later, I turned to her again. By then she’d applied for a position, I believe. I might have that wrong. But at any rate, along came the Cross Killer. Ms. Matthews was a critical piece of the investigation, and that of the copycat killings that followed.

And you became close.

Boldt: I’m close to LaMoia too, so watch your implications.

I wasn’t implying anything.

Boldt: Nice try.

And how did Ms. Matthews fit into the property room switch? How was she involved in that?

Boldt: Let’s talk about the video camera and log book. I’m told you have both LaMoia and me on tape and in the book signing into the property room that night. Never mind that we were called out on a case. Gaines? Do you have her? Why aren’t you looking at who might have the ability to substitute videotape? Why haven’t you used a forgery expert to check the signatures in the log? Let me ask you something, Feldman: you see my right foot? [subject extends right leg] You see what I’m wearing? It’s a sandal. A Birkenstock. A hippie shoe. Because I got problems, big problems, with the pinky toe on my right foot. Check with my podiatrist. I’ve been in this sandal for the past eight months. Now, you go take a look at your security video. I haven’t been to the property room in eighteen months. I’m a lieu, not a sergeant. I have no reason to go down there. You check my footwear. Ten to one, I’m not wearing a sandal. That’s because someone took some older footage of me using the property room and performed some video magic and changed the time code. Moved it from twenty-ought-six to twenty-ought-eight. Something like that. But it’s Sonny and Cher: “It Ain’t Me, Babe.” All that precious evidence of yours is part of a scheme to frame me and my best unit. If you’d done your homework, we wouldn’t be here right now. You’re wasting both my time and yours. It’s a shame you don’t know what you’re doing.

[Sergeant Feldman is summoned to door. Pauses interview. Heard from door: Feldman: “… so have a look at the damn video.” Feldman returns to table.]

Boldt: You want a break, we can take a break. You don’t look so good, Feldman.

You’re not the one running this interview. [pause]

Boldt: [whispers, but is caught on tape] I am now.

[Clears throat, takes sip of water] Matthews is ambitious. She used you to advance her name in criminal psychology, to build a career where she’s now one of the highest paid consultants in the nation.

Boldt: I wouldn’t know anything about that.

Wouldn’t you? Oh, come on! Define your relationship with Ms. Matthews, please, Lieutenant.

Boldt: Have you been listening? It’s incumbent upon the interviewer to actually listen to the subject.

You were separated from your wife for a time. This was just after the Cross Killer investigation, about the time copycat crimes surfaced. You and Ms. Matthews worked closely together during this time, did you not?

Boldt: I’ve explained that Ms. Matthews’s contributions to both investigations were instrumental to the clearance of those cases. That’s all I need to say.

She is currently living with Detective LaMoia, as I understand it.

Boldt: Fraternization is not permitted by this department and you know it. It can lead to nepotism. Ms. Matthews is an expert witness and a consultant used by many units in this department. I don’t track her personal life.

Not what I hear.

Boldt: [leans across the table, then returns to chair] You and I… [subject sits back down] Go check your video evidence, Sergeant. I can wait. And while you’re at it, check the logs and compare the signatures. When all that is done, you might want to explain to someone that you served for three years on Vice’s video surveillance tech squad. You moved from there to I.T. for a couple years. Isn’t that right? So let’s take a long, hard look at who in this room is qualified to mess with video evidence. The only thing I know about a mouse is you feed it cheese. You could give me every computer book in the world, and I couldn’t do a thing with video evidence. And yet, here you are, with me in your sights, and I’m telling you that you picked the wrong guy. I get a guy like you. I understand that kind of patience, that anger at being passed over for promotions. Matthews could explain how a guy like you… how that kind of obsession festers. It goes bad. It makes you sick. And it’s no secret that I’m nearing the end of my run. Nothing a guy like you would rather see than me going down in flames or being forced out. I know all this, and I believe I may be able to prove it. But you took care of that: the one guy who might challenge this absurdity of an investigation is the one guy you took care of by aiming it at him. My only hope is that since Internal Investigation tapes are reviewed, someone watching this, listening to this down the line, will at least bother to look at the evidence with a less jaundiced eye.

This is ridiculous.

Boldt: Which is what I’m saying. We’re saying the same thing. So why are my accusations ridiculous, and yours are not? Hmm? You want to explain that? You made a mistake, Sergeant Feldman, by coming after me. You doctored those tapes. You got someone to forge a couple of names in the log book. But you didn’t do your homework: you didn’t know about my bum foot and the sandal. The Sandal Scandal. The sandal [subject extends leg] is going to turn this all back onto you.

We’re done here.

Boldt: One of us is.

This interview is over. [Detective Feldman quotes date and time, and closes session]

Boldt: I’d get a lawyer if I were you. A good lawyer at that.

The Lineup: The World`s Greatest Crime Writers Tell the Inside Story of Their Greatest Detectives

Two days later, Boldt met LaMoia in Carkeek Park. Boldt big. LaMoia long and narrow and, it was apparent, strong and quick. A steady wind blew in their faces, enough wind to prevent any long-range microphone from picking up anything said. They faced the whitecapped waters of the strait, the lush islands, distant and low, like green jewels on gray cloth. LaMoia’s mustache and goatee shook with the stiff breeze. His nose ran and he constantly mopped it with a handkerchief that he also held over his mouth as he spoke.

“What was that like?” LaMoia asked.

“Like when we do it, only the other way around. It got messy.”

“Are you okay with it?”

“I don’t like being accused of things. They wanted to bring you and Daphne and Bobbie into it. They hammered away on my friendship with Phil. They tried to make a case that we’d done this together.”

“Jeez.”

“You better get her things out of the loft. They accused you two of fraternizing.”

LaMoia chewed on his lower lip till the skin turned white. “Shit. And the other thing? The prop room?”

“Feldman’s seen Murder on the Orient Express one too many times. His theory is, if I read it right, that each of us returned a few thousand until we got the cache back up to ten grand. I think they realized no one person entering Property empty-handed could have carried the full ten grand.”

“How creative of them.”

“Seriously.” Boldt looked past LaMoia at a ferry plowing through the chop. A water bug on a breezy pond. “Can you imagine coming up with a plan like that? Who could think of such a thing?”

“Certainly not a criminal psychologist with a love of old movies.”

Boldt reprimanded LaMoia with a sharp look.

“And the videotape?” LaMoia asked. “Did they hit you with that?”

“They’ll figure it out. Someone will. Feldman was called to the door by someone looking on. I wouldn’t be surprised if it had to do with the video. They’re going to realize that tape of me is nearly two years old. When they do, I think it’ll be Feldman sitting in that chair I was sitting in.”

“And if not?” LaMoia said.

“What are the chances that any four or five cops would risk their careers for one person? Phil Shoswitz or no Phil Shoswitz. Never mind that Phil was drunk when he allegedly took that money-never mind that it was his one and only gaffe in all those years of service. Are you going to tell me that four officers would put themselves at risk like that?”

“I’m not.”

“Because it’s absurd. Feldman’s on drugs.”

“But he took the case.”

“Of course he took the case. He’d give anything to bring me down. Had to be him.”

“And if it hadn’t been?”

“But it was. No one else in I.I. had the personal motivation he did.”

“But if it hadn’t been?” LaMoia pressed.

“You let me know if they contact you. I don’t think there’s much chance of that, but I need to know the minute you hear anything.”

“Will do.”

“I’m going to your place now. I need an hour.”

LaMoia looked at Boldt, but the lieutenant only stared out at the chop and the ferry’s slow progress.

“How often does it feel like that?” Boldt asked. “Push like hell, get nowhere.”

“Name of the game.”

“You going to ask me why?” Boldt asked.

“You and her? No. Should I?”

“Most guys would.”

“And since when am I most guys?” LaMoia asked.

They both watched the ferry’s effort.

“Listen,” LaMoia said. “It’s a three-legged dog at the moment. Her and me. And the kid. I could lie and tell you otherwise, but that’s the truth. If I was a betting man… ”

“And you’re telling me this because?”

“Because I’m not stupid, Sarge.”

LaMoia had called him that for too long to switch. Boldt would never be a lieutenant in his eyes.

“You two… ” LaMoia said. “Liz must feel the same way I do at least some of the time.”

“And how’s that?”

“Like I’m watching from the sidelines.”

“That’s absurd.”

“No, it’s not,” LaMoia said. “She’s gotten me into those old movies. And the one thing I’ve come to understand is that some actors have this chemistry, this thing between them. You feel it, whatever it is. It’s like a magnetic field or something. Like some kind of light the camera doesn’t actually catch, but it’s still there.” He paused to wipe his nose and clean his mustache. “You two are like that.”

“That’s B.S.”

“It’s not. Maybe you don’t feel it the way I do. Maybe neither of you do. Maybe you’ve lived so long with it that you’re used to it. How should I know? Maybe you’re hosing me. I sure as shit hope not, because I’d hope by now the two of us have more respect for each other than that.”

“I’ve got to tell her things, John. I’ve got to explain things, including the possible fraternization charges. I think this mess… I think something just kind of popped in me that some things have got to be explained,” Boldt said.

“The two of you live in no-man’s-land. I don’t know how you do it. She’s with me. Sort of. But she’s never left you.”

“She was never with me.”

“Try telling her that.”

“You and her. It’s been, what? A year. More than a year.”

“And we’re happy. We’re friends. Good friends. Absolutely. But best friends? Listen, I’m infatuated. Hook, line, and sinker. Honest to God, I could take some cabin on a lake with her and never come back. I’m in. All the chips. And of course it’s the one and only time I’ve felt like that-and of course it’s never going to happen. I think, when you’ve had my kind of history with the opposite sex… I think something like this is bound to happen.”

“It’s called irony, John.”

“It’s called bad luck, Sarge. You go to her. You say whatever you have to say. But I’d be less than honest if I told you it’ll sit all right with me. Because it won’t. The kid’s in play. We come up for review on that pretty soon. My gut says we won’t be allowed to keep the kid, but my heart-and this is me talking, don’t forget-wants it more than anything.”

“Kids don’t hold a marriage together. If anything they challenge it in ways you can’t imagine.”

“But I can imagine. It’s been a year, like you said. I’m not expecting miracles.”

“They asked me about my past,” Boldt said. “They made me relive all sorts of stuff that I’d forgotten. Phil. Daphne. You and Bobbie. How it all came together.”

“And how it damn near came apart.”

“And something about that made me realize I had to speak my piece. To each of you.”

“You call this speaking your piece to me?”

“You? No. I’m not ready for you.”

“There’s some kind of order? A line?” LaMoia looked around at the grass blowing all around them. “That’s precious.”

“In my head there is.”

“I always wondered what was in there,” LaMoia said. “Lines, huh?”

Boldt stopped a smile from forming. He checked the ferry again, surprised at how steadily it moved across the strait. It had made great progress.

“Do what you gotta do,” LaMoia said.

“It isn’t what you’re thinking. It’s nothing like that. It’s about explaining the past, not making up a future.”

“And that’s the first time I’ve breathed in the past five minutes.”

Boldt couldn’t stop the smile; it exposed him. “I’m going to the Joke later. Play some piano. If you come by, drinks are on me.”

“Are we celebrating?”

“Feels like we should, don’t you think?”

“What would we be celebrating?”

Boldt said nothing.

“What if they dig up that Gaines studied film for two years of college? What if they find out that what that really meant was two years of working in video?”

“Do you really think anyone would ever believe that four officers would all risk their careers for any one person?” Boldt asked again.

“That would be stupid.”

“Incredibly stupid.”

“Ridiculous.”

“Absurd.”

The ferry was nearly out of sight. A small speck spitting a trail of white foam.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” Boldt said.

“Do you love her?” LaMoia asked. His eyes were moist as he blew his nose again.

Boldt wondered if the wind was doing that to his eyes. He placed a hand on the shoulder of LaMoia’s deerskin jacket and gripped firmly. LaMoia continued looking out across the water. He would not turn his head.

Boldt squeezed once more, then headed toward the Crown Vic, fighting off a chill he couldn’t seem to beat.


RIDLEY PEARSON | The Lineup: The World`s Greatest Crime Writers Tell the Inside Story of Their Greatest Detectives | ANNE PERRY